I was concerned because A) I don't even have this student -- but I know this student. EVERYONE knows this student, and 2) I have never, ever seen him look so serious. But he was.
"What's up? You okay?" I was genuinely weirded out by the grave look upon his face.
"Yeah. It's just that today... on my history test... there was a question. Question #7, I think. And it said 'True or False: Mr. Stimmel is a better teacher than Coach Naz.'" And then he looked at me with real, honest-to-goodness sad-face. I've seen angry-face and wild-eyed crazed-face, but I've yet to see the sad-face.
I already knew about this test question since my new nemesis had already come to show me all of his answers from the students we share. He had, of course, bullied them into choosing "true".
I went ahead anyway and asked, "So, what did you choose? True? Or False?"
"Well, see... I've got a 75 in that class... and I HAVE to make a better grade, so... I... chose Mr. Stimmel." Again, with the sad-face.
I gave him the side eye for a good 10 or 12 seconds before I responded.
"Well, you sold me out, but you sold me out for the greater good, I suppose. I'll let it slide this one time. But just this once." And then I gave him a quick hug-strangle and sent him on his way.
In a day that physically wore me out, a kid that I don't teach and don't really know, made my day. It cost him nothing but a small confession and 60 seconds of his time.
True or False: Shouldn't we all be so wise?
Stimmel also had to show me this:
I think she'll be eligible for political office in 2036.
Also, Stimmel, I'll let you slide on that punctuation. But just this once.