Whatcha Want?

All my life, I have struggled with going after what I want.  Because I am a people-pleaser by nature, my needs and wants typically take a backseat to everyone else's.  Add to that the fact that my drug of choice is the need to be needed, and you have yourself a woman who has a list of things that she wants to accomplish but hasn't taken the time to.  I'm constantly making excuses as to how or why I can't do the things that I want; I can talk myself out of practically anything.

Which, when I stop to give thought to this, totally depresses me and makes me feel like a failure at life.

Sigh.

I've been thinking lately about if I could do anything, what I would do.  Here's a list of just a few things that I want but have never had the time or money or guts to go for. 

1. Travel to a foreign country.  Or several foreign countries.
2. Swim in the ocean.  I know.  It's sad.
3. Own a convertible.  To complete #10.
4. Buy a house.  I'm a financial commitment-phobe.
5. See a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.  Ivy covered walls and decade long failures entice me.
6. Be a mom.  But not by myself.
7. Take a yoga class.  Even though the thought makes me quite nervous.
8. Be even within 15 pounds of my high school weight.  I wish I was as fat as I thought I was then.
9. See a Broadway play.  Of course, this requires a trip to New York first.
10. Drive across the country.  In a convertible.  With funny friends.
11. Place a bet in a Vegas casino.   And drink all their free drinks.  And then get married by Elvis.  On second thought, maybe I should re-think Vegas.
12. See a Final Four game in person.  And if Duke were in it, then that's just a bonus.
13. Go on a cruise.  They just look fun.
14. Visit the Smithsonian.  I don't know why.  I just really, really like museums.
15. Take a creative writing class.  I'm not sure why I've never done this.
16. Go white water rafting.  Creekwalking at camp just didn't cut it.
17. See the Grand Canyon (again).  I saw it when I was like 4.  I remember nothing.
18. Take a year off to just do volunteer work.  It hits the "being needed" addiction head on.

Not a great list.  Not even a complete list.  Maybe I'll add to it occasionally.  But there it is.  In writing.  Not to be ignored.

What about you?